“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

Rest.  It’s such a simple word.  It’s a beautiful word that just draws me in to grab hold of, but I struggle to do that on a continual basis.  I’m not speaking of physical rest.  I have mastered that one quite well.  I am talking about every other aspect of rest:  mental rest, emotional rest, spiritual rest.  It is a word that has been mentioned to me by so many various people in my life over the past whirlwind of a month, to just rest in Him during this time.  What?  How is that possible?  There is so much to be done!  It seems completely irresponsible to “just rest”.  There are appointments to be made, and dare I say, make the list of all the possible “what-if” scenarios after the surgery is over and we know what we’re dealing with.  I’m a type A, which makes me a planner.  I plan A-Z.  I have back-up plans just in case A-Z don’t work out.  I guess one could interpret that in a way that I am a complete control freak.  It’s amazing that I still question the reasons why God is bringing me through these trials.  What is He trying to teach me?  Anyone, anyone?  (hint: I just said it)

If you read my last blog, you will see the point in time in which I was finally at peace with all of this and for the first time understood what it was like to just let go and rest in Him.  It seems like it should be so easy and so inviting, to just lay down my burdens.  He’ll take them!  He’ll take the weight off of my shoulders so that I don’t have to carry the load!  How can I resist that invitation of rest, especially in the middle of what seems like complete chaos right now?

Well, yesterday was a very convicting day for me.  It was such a productive day for me and I was so proud of the work that I accomplished through the gathering of information in preparation of what the future might hold with this tumor.  I made plans!  And I think they are great!  Ridiculous.  Completely ridiculous.  Did I pray about it?  Did I seek Him first?  Are they His plans?  I don’t know!  I didn’t ask!  Don’t get me wrong, you guys.  God gives us resources and I believe it is our responsibility to utilize those resources to do what you can to take care of business.  But seek. Him. first.  That is the lesson that I have not been able to learn seven years into this.  My time right now should be spent pressing into Him and seeking His face.  The scripture in Matthew I quoted at the beginning of this blog calls for action: “Come to me”.  He wants me to come to Him, seek Him, spend time with Him.  How do I do that?  Meditate on His word and commune with Him in prayer.  I can’t think of anything more restful than that.

I’ll be in surgery exactly one week from right now.  I feel like God has blessed me with the peace of mind to know that He is the perfect plan for the what-if scenarios that might come up next week.  I don’t even need a back-up plan.  He’s already thought of that, too.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

– Jeremiah 29:11